Wednesday 30 January 2013

Touching Story About Michelle Obama's childhood

When the wife of President Obama, Michelle was in the college, there were few black girls in her school. So she had a roommate who was white, and the girl's mother felt so bad when her daughter told her she had a black room mate (Michelle), and the woman was angry with the school authority and the black girl Michelle was later removed from that room.

 

 But today, the innocent black girl has now become THE 1ST LADY of US. In the book recently published about Michelle, the mother of that white girl who was not allowed to be Michelle's roommate was interviewed and she confessed how she had prevented her daughter from being a close friend of the wife of the President today.

I prophesy to you that men/women who neglect you today will celebrate you tomorrow.

 

Share this story if your touched:

Friday 25 January 2013

7 Dangerous acts after a meal

7 Dangerous acts after a meal
1. Don’t smoke —- Experiments from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher)

2. Don’t eat fruits immediately — Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Thre fore take fruits 1 -2 hours after meal or 1 hour before meal.

3. Don’t drink tea—— Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the protein content in the food we consume to be hundred thus difficult to digest.

4. Don’t loosen your belt———- Loosening the belt after meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted and blocked.

♥...Nothing is bigger than MOM's Heart...♥

16 year old boys asks his Mom: "Mom, what are you going to get me for my 18th birthday ??
.
The Mother answers, "son that's still a long way" .
.
The boy turns 17 & one day he faints.
His Mom takes him to the hospital& the doctors
says "Madam your child has a bad heart". Being the child On the stretcher the child Says, "did he tell you I'm going to die ??
.
Mom Starts crying" The boy finally recovers on his 18th Birthday, he comes home&
on his bed was a letter his mom had left him. The letter said "Son if you are reading this its because everything went well. Remember the day you asked me what was i giving you on your 18th birthday & didn't know what to Answer you??
"I gave you my heart" take care of it and happy Birth day Son" ♥
The mother was dead becoz she
had to give up her heart to her
son Nothing is bigger than Mom's Heart...♥

If you are touched pliz
LIKE,SHARE and COMMENT "I love you mom"

Thursday 24 January 2013

M – O – T – H – E – R .

“M” is for the Million things she gave me,
“O” means Only that she’s growing old,
“T” is for the Tears she shed to save me,
“H” is for her Heart of gold,
“E” is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them,
“R” means Right, and right she’ll always be.
 

If You Agree, Share to the others:

Wednesday 23 January 2013

Lie Detector Robot

A man buys a lie detector robot which slaps people who lie.

He decides 2 test it at dinner.

Dad : Son, where were u today during school hours ?

Son : At School. Robot slaps son! Ok, I lied, I went to the movies.

Dad : Which one ?

Son : Toy Story. Robot slaps son again! Ok, it was porn movie.

Dad : What ?! When I was your age, I never watched such films....Robot slaps Dad!

Mom : Ha ha! After all he's your son.

Robot slaps mom!!

Total silence..!! :O..... 




SHARE if u get it:

Tuesday 22 January 2013

Best Divorce Letter


Dear wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case,

I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

——

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.

I hope that’s not a problem.

UnFairness

  • A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13.
  • People call another man fat. No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight.
  • People call an old man ugly. No one knows he had a serious injury to the face fighting for our country in the war.



Share, If You Hate Those Who Judge People Without Knowing Them  -_-

Sunday 20 January 2013

The reason I got divorced.

Last week i had my birthday, My wife didn't wish me, My parents forgot and so did my kids.
I went to work, Even my colleagues didn't wish me....
As i entered my cabin my secretary said," Happy Birthday Boss" I felt so special, She asked me out to lunch.

After lunch,she invited me to her apartment.
WE went there,
She said in a sexy voice,"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute?"

"OKAY", i said nervously
She came out 5 min later with a cake and My Wife, My Parents, My Kids, My Friends and My Colleagues...

All Screaming, SURPRISE! SURPRISE!
And I was waiting on the sofa....... NAKED!

Saturday 19 January 2013

15 THINGS GIRLS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GUYS.

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them
2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care abt.
3. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex-love-interest
4. Guys get jealous easily
5. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like
6. A guy will do anything just to get u notice him
7. Girls are guy's weakness
8. Guys are very open about themselves than girls
9. We love it when girls talk about their Ass
11. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes u and wants to be with you as much as possible
12. Not all guys are assholes, just because one is a jackass doesn’t mean he represent all guys
13. If ur best guy friend seems to avoid u or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes u.
14. Guys talk abt girls more than girls talk abt guys.
15. Guys try to be as straight forward as possible

Friday 18 January 2013

Son and Dad

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ' Dad.'
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
Dear, Dad
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, butI knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad . She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a caravan in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the community, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad , I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grand children.
Love,
Your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad , none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.
Call when it is safe for me to come home :)

Thursday 17 January 2013

DAILY HABITS THAT WILL INCREASE YOUR MIND POWER



1. Go for a walk with a friend.

That means walking with a friend so that you talk as you walk. Social connection, physical exercise and mental stimulation are the brain strengtheners.

2. Solve Puzzles, Play Games

Playing a game of Sudoku or attempting to solve a difficult crossword sets your brain cells in action. Doctors often advise people who report focus problems to play a video game for few minutes everyday to boost brain’s ability to focus on one thing at a time.

3. Meditate

Meditation is easier said than done. But if you could include it in your everyday routine and practice it diligently, it would go a long way in giving you a better memory help to make a better brain.

4. Eat healthy

Our diets have a HUGE impact on brain functioning. Our brains consume over 20% of all nutrients & oxygen that we consume so remember to feed your brain with the good and healthy Stuff.

5. Think positive


Stress and anxiety kills existing brain neurons and also stop new neurons from being created. Research has shown that positive thinking, especially in the future tense, speeds up the creation of cells and dramatically reduces stress & anxiety. Try and get a handle on negative thoughts and makes an effort to leave them and change it to positive ones.

6. Laugh It Up

Laughter causes a natural release of the brain’s endorphins chemicals that drown out pain and increase overall wellbeing. Laughter is a well known, natural stress reducer. Watch a comedy, crack a joke, and increase those endorphin levels.

7. Listen To Music


Studies have proven that listening to music strengthens the right-hemisphere of the brain and literally changes the structure. Those same studies have found that people who listen to the music are generally much smarter and have more emotional intelligence than those who don’t.

8. Do Self-Hypnosis

The power of hypnotic suggestion is definitely real. You can change aspects of your thought process and learn to shift your focus by taking the time to do some self-hypnosis. Hypnosis research shows that by practicing hypnosis, an individual experiences lowered stress, increased pain tolerance, and clear thinking.

9. Set Goals

Setting goals activates areas of the brain associated with positive thinking and action. Setting goals is great for achieving success and prosperity in life and boosting your brain.

10. Follow a Sleep and Wake up Routine


One day you are night owl and other day, you wake up at 5. This randomness of your sleep pattern is neither good for your body nor for your brain. Better Sleep makes your mind healthy . Sleep sound, wake up fresh and try to stick to a routine.

Wednesday 16 January 2013

Hairy Monkey lol

An 11 year old girl realized that she had started to grow hair between her legs.

She got worried and asked her Mom about the hair.

Her mom calmly said. "That part where hair has grown is called a monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair."


Next morning at breakfast she told her sister. "My monkey has grown hair.

"Her sister smiled and said. "that's nothing, mine is already eating banana's."
Her Mom fainted


Monday 14 January 2013

Old man with high hopes.

An 80-year old man walks into the doctor’s office for his regular check-up.

Doctor : “Ummm, Pap, how are you feeling ?”

Old Man : “Great,”. “I have an 18-year old wife, and she’s pregnant with my child.”

Doctor ( Confused & Concerned)
“Pap, let me tell you a story. See, I have this hunter friend and one early morning, he goes out hunting, but he was in such a hurry that he grabs his umbrella instead of his Gun. So, as he is hunting, he spots a lion. He aims at the lion with his umbrella and shoots at it. Bam! The lion falls dead to the ground.”

Old Man : (Surprise) “What ?!” “Why ? that is impossible! Some one else must have shot the lion.”

Doctor : (Laughing) “Exactly Pap!” Just wana reactivate your Brain about your Pregnant 18yrs Old Wife Sir..


Friday 11 January 2013

Never Blame The Dog lol

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.

Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".

The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.

The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"

Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!":)

Thursday 10 January 2013

Akpors Kidnapped

Akpors was kidnap on his way back from school,
so he was told by the kidnappers to give them the phone number of his father..
But akpors gave them the phone number of a police officer,
`here is the number',akpors says`081-9999-2224'..
the kidnapper's boss types the number on his phone and calls the line,
*phone ringing*
Police:helo.
Boss:helo.
Police:please who are you???,and how can i help you??..
Boss:we are kidnappers,and we just kidnapped  your son..
The Police man says to himself`but i have no son'..
police:well,wha­t do you want from me?..
Boss:we want you to send us two hundred & fifty thousand dolas or else we will kill your son..
Police:ok what should i do?..
Boss:ok now come along with the money to Odenga street @ uncompleted building near chief Ibekwe's storey building,and when coming come alone
police:okay..
*call ended*
In the evening around 7:pm,the police went to the uncompleted building with some police men,but he went inside the uncompleted building alone with a white sack while the other police men fenced the whole building..
Police:here is the money..
Boss:good one,now take your son & leave immediately..
*the police brought out his gun and pointed towards the boss face & the other police men then came inside the building & arrested all the kidnappers...
:
:
:
How many SHARES for akpors.

Wednesday 9 January 2013

Akpors

Phone Rings....
GIRL: Hello
Akpors: My luv how r u doing?
GIRL: Am fine
Akpors: Will you be less busy by weekend to come to my house?
GIRL: I m sorry I cant make it because I will be attending my aunty's wedding and the nextday is thanks giving, I’m so occupied...
*Akpors wanted getting the truth from her*
Akpors:OoOhk.i was just planning to take you out for shopping to suprise you with black berry-torch and the brazillian hair u've been asking for..
GirL:i will be coming :-) and ­ i may even spend the weekend if u want my love.
Akpors:what about the wedding???.
GirL:which wedding? I was just joking..
Akpors:Me too..
 

How many shares for Akpors

Tuesday 8 January 2013

THINGS THAT SHOULD REMAIN IN 2012



1. Girls drawing their eyebrows like they’re sponsored by NIKE.
2. Fat Girls In Leggings (this breaks my heart)
3.Pink hair, purple hair, orange hair, green hair. Might as well become a clown!
4. Complaining about how life is treating u!
5. Statuses like "I love my MAN (who asked you? and who fuckin cares? Tell him not us)
6. Updating your Facebook statuses about everything you are doing .Join twitter maybe!
7. Putting your surname as Wayne, Minaj, Bieber etc on Facebook ...Nigga please!!! That’s so so local
8. Attention seeking on social networks. Am back did u miss me. (We didn’t notice u had gone...duh!)
9. Really dark skinned ladies putting on blonde weaves ,now some look like walking Duracell batteries aaahhh'
10. Cute girls chilling with ugly girls to make themselves look good.....it’s not fair!
11. GANGNAM STYLE!
12. Posting photos of children with birth defects and then tell people to LIKE them. Such pics are not worth LIKING. So stop it ASAP!
13. Gudnyt pals! (so? shud we cry?)
14. Am back pals!(so? Where had we sent you?)
15. Am sick! (We are not doctors, go to a hospital!)

Monday 7 January 2013

40 Tips for Happy Health Life - MUST READ & SHARE




Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make time for prayer and reflection
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2012.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.



Saturday 5 January 2013

Top 10 Brain Damaging Habits!! (MUST SHARE)


1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries,leadin
­g to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

Toilet lol

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the next toilet
saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't
know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
'I am Doing' just fine!'

And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'

Funny Daughter and dad

 LOL

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him,"Daddy,
what's Sex?"
"OK," he thinks, "this day was bound to come, and I'm not going to let my little princess learn about sex from the streets." So, he sitsher down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees.He tells her about conception,sexual intercourse, sperms and
eggs. He tells her about puberty,

Friday 4 January 2013

Awesome cartoons

 Which was/which is your favorite?

The funny court

The judge says to a double-homicide
­ defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"

The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one.":)

Genie

 A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie!

The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes. So you can forget about getting three wishes. You only get one wish.

The man sat down on the beach and thought about it for awhile. Then he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii; but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive over there to visit?"

Thursday 3 January 2013

Today's Joke

 Today's Joke

 A man at work calls home and his 8 years old
daughter picks the phone:
“Hi honey,this is daddy.Is mommy near the
phone?”
“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom
with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.
“After a brief pause daddy says,“But honey
you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”
“Oh yes I do,and he is upstairs in the room
with mommy right now.”